Category Archives: Mindfulness

You Must Find Your Own Way

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1918172723_41189c747f I am fortunate to have viewed the world with a huge amount of skepticism as a child. For instance, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy crumbled under my microscope of reality and truth. In fact, cynicism could be considered as the poverty I wrestled with as a child influenced my social development immensely, as well as, defined my every moment. As a result, the deficiency of life resources, (e.g., Monterey, social capital, education, morality) may not only defined my reality but also stained my future existence.

In any case, growing up I learn quickly not to trust, or shall I say, “Be Weary” of people, my survival hinged on my ability to process situations quickly. In other words, you believe whatever you desire and so will I. As such, my personal experiences for better or worse would be my guide and not other’s opinions or ideologies. Hence, however, I will not regress to explain the egotism that engulfed me; I will save it for another day. On the other hand, the self-dependence influenced my abilities to find my own way, it was not always pretty, but it proved invaluable.

How does one create the self-empowering traits to find their own way? I believe (3) three components eventually quantified certain attributes that enhances self-actualization.

(1) Know Thyself

Some refuse to believe their reality. The mirror tragically flawed with self-delusions and grandeur paints a silhouette of “Everything’s Ok.” Nevertheless, all the while, the spiritual anarchy we call life runs us in circles; we are never satisfied, our moments spent wishing Santa Claus or a similar figure save us. Know thyself and come to grips with your higher awareness, and also, accept and surrender the false assumptions that bind you.310642919_21c0a380c3

(2) Love Thyself

To experience self-love it must evolves through self-knowledge. We often hate what we believe possess a foreign identity; this creates mistrust, and deep-rooted fear. Regardless of status or accomplishments, self-hate destroys the inner being. Many cannot find happiness for they are looking for something not lost. To empower self-love one must find the ability to delve into the soul. This is a scary proposition for some; nevertheless, it must be an undertaking.

(3) Save Thyself

There will be no deliverance from you; God does not intervene in your self-hate. Thus, we confuse so much with allegiance to the philosophy of dependency. Many individuals will profess one must do the work to be saves from addiction, mis-education, or low-morality. This is not to say God does not save, however it is to say, I had to change my consciousness, which in turn change my poor habits. Save yourself…

To find your own way, one must be acute about self. In fact, self-knowledge is the foundation to discovering the bliss you seek. At the same time, self-love grows from this exercise of acceptance and surrender. As a result, we discard our pretentious role-playing and live life in balance. The only person, who can save you, is a real you.  You must find your own way.

The Invisible Dragon

milesdavis1

Did You Know, the Strong Surrender and the Weak Persist

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848531146_0231211e47 “God grant you the strength to fight off the temptations of surrender.” Walter Annenberg. Mr. Annenberg’s quote signifies an act of spiritual imprisonment and ultimately a deliberate attempt at euthanasia. Contrary to popular national, cultural, and athletic’ rally cries, in most instances, whatever you fight will consume you. Paul Tournier, “Acceptance of one’s life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices.”

However, all too often, we believe the harder one fight; the more one may accomplish or overcome. This is a misnomer, albeit, a powerful one. As a former athlete, if one appeared to surrender, it was the ultimate sign of human weakness. Nevertheless, as I later learn in life, this one unrealistic principle caused me unlimited pain and suffering. When one creates the illusion that to yield defines a feeble spirit, woe on to that person, I say. “Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” William James. To fight reality and remain steadfast against the obvious demonstrate a person lock inside their mind.

Stop Fighting

How often have we not accepted our reality? For instance, not only refusing to come to terms with unpleasant circumstances, but ultimately, erecting a ‘never say die” attitude. Specifically, as we play out the illusion we can control situations or persons’ behaviors and attempt to control the universe, we become obsessed with prevailing. There remains a great deal of pain for individuals who believe this principle. Primarily, as many of us have learned, we have absolutely no control over anything but our thoughts. To believe you are controlling someone’s actions is a fairytale.

If you desire change in a person or yourself for that matter, surrender, yes you heard me correctly, give up and let the situation occur without your interference. This is not prophecy or a treasure trove of some mystical oracle, but a peaceful resolution. There are so many spirits rested on the ill-fated wisdom that control of others and situations are in our power. Sadly, many learn and often too late, that we never had control of our lives, husbands, wives, children, not even our pets. 89737864_8ae6143610

Accept, Surrender, Move On

Give up the ideal of trying to make someone change their behaviors. Incidentally, what will happen will occur in God’s time not yours. We preach a good game but many of us live contrary to our pious tongues. Some so obsessed with not releasing their spirit to God, they fight to control every facet of their lives. Eventually, placing the blame on the ‘God’s testing us’ parable when the crap hits the fan.

You have heard this, first person, “I am in pain,”…second person, “God’s just testing you” yea right, testing your foolishness, wondering way you continue to fight. How about you surrender, how about you throw your ego out the door and realize you do not control your own breathing, let alone people and circumstances.

Stop the madness in believing fighting will bring victory. Maybe it will, maybe it will not, but at what cost to the spirit for such a shallow win? If you want peace, surrender, give it up and move on. Allow your obsessions to go free, allow your spirit to accept individuals’ behaviors without judgment and condemnation. You do not have to be right all the time. More importantly, permit yourself to discover the strength in surrendering by allowing things to go their nature way, without your input. In other words, stop your pain by accepting, surrendering, moving on.

“Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.” Miyamoto Musashi

The Invisible Dragon

milesdavis1

Are You in a Bogus Marriage or Relationship?

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3739605789_8d95b6e760_o Without question, there is no greater despair then a person in a disjointed love relationship. As a result, when affairs head south, we ask, “What went wrong.” We contemplate repeatedly, what looked so promising, faded so fast to crap. There are untold individuals of failed relationships and marriages. Some end nicely, and sadly, some in abusive fashion.

As an illustration, The Dragon never immune to life has suffered failed relationships, two to be exact. Youth and ignorance could be plausible reasons, but let us not kid ourselves. Above all, I did not know what self-love consisted of and ultimately, in both affairs, I wanted my needs met. I wanted a caregiver.  The Dragon refer to as “Bogus or Counterfeit Love,” where one falls in love with the illusion of “Falling in Love.”

For the sake of discussion, let us take a closer look at the construction of counterfeit love. When we meet the so-call ‘the one’, our impulses says, ‘this person makes us feel special.” Hence, our stomachs turn as if on a roller coaster when we are with them. He/she does everything right (i.e., movies, valentine gifts, & candy). In essence, you bragged to your family and friends, this is the one. Now let us fast-forward to real life shall we, a few years later, as we sit scarred and bristled in our closet crying uncontrollably.

What Happen?

First, you were never in love; you were in love with the “illusion of falling in love”. Let us not be 4081360474_b6c8f398e6_o deceitful, we ultimately, succumbed to an illusion supported by sex, gifts and “the idea we were extraordinary”. In any case, when we construct a relationship in this manner, it is no wonder; we end up in the fetal position weeping and saying, “He/She just changed overnight.” Yea, right! Incidentally, when you lack self-love, you are easily attracted to counterfeit love. You drove yourself to the slaughterhouse; let us take a closer examination.

Overall, we threw ourselves at these men/women, all the while, ignoring obvious character flaws (i.e., selfishness, obsessiveness, needy, just plain shady). Sadly, inside the illusion, we saw only what made us ‘feel special’. Moreover, with faithful resiliency, we consistently manipulated the chase, dangling our ‘goodies’ to insure we can make their mouths water.

Expectably, after we thought we had them, the big announcement, “I’m in Love!” Sadly and eventually, we come to realize, once again, we fail in love with the imagination of falling in love. .

By the way, true love has nothing to do with feeling out of the ordinary. If we need to ‘feel gifted’ by someone, it is but a moment you will meet continually with painstaking disappointments. In the end, these relationships are about control and fear of separation and abandonment. These relationships are insanity; moreover, it denotes lack of self-love, we engaged to a nightmare.

Love Yourself

As we vision, some grasp obsessively to love interests, an obvious illustration of dependency. It signals our mates’ ‘goodies’ may attract other suitors; ultimately, leaving us alone, deserted. Overall, we are worrying about our own needs not the marriage. These relationships are so taxing. Did you know, self-love is the only love not dependent on external people or forces.

In short, the Dragon does not need his wife, he adores and love being with his wife. I long-lost the illusion of the fear of separation that nearly destroyed my marriage and life. My fear of disconnection was demented and self-serving. I resemble the child screaming for his mother. Instead of marrying fantasies of love, turn on to you first.

Counterfeit love affairs are control and panic relationships. The premise that someone is responsible for our feelings pronounces our fear of separation and abandonment. A solution to this personal matter is for one to learn to find true self-love. Nevertheless, I do not direct people in that manner; I only know it starts within.

The Invisible Dragon

milesdavis1

How to be Content with an Ordinary Life

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50645710_d61994d8d2 In Western society, often one is measured by what one has acquired, accomplished and accumulated. Not too long after entering high school, we are on the fast track to capitalism. “Get mines, you get yours.” We feel this pressure as we take on more responsibilities to be more tomorrow than yesterday. The Dragon was addicted to this thinking for a very long time. Consequently, in the process, I sacrificed woefully my personal principles and values.

By the same token, to lead an ordinary life would go against my perception of manhood. I was so wrong. The simple-hearted life driven by a true sense of self is most rewarding. In other words, chase as you must the fakery of fritz and glitter, but in the end, the effortless spirit will possess the kingdom. Sadly, for so long I believed more was better (i.e., bigger house, cars, closet full of suits), it was never enough. In the end, you may be without a soul, because the spiritual trade-in is never equal to what you get in return.

God Give Me More

First of all, a simple and uncomplicated life takes faith and confidence. That is to say, to live mundane is to go against the Western’ ideology of self-worth. With this in mind, for some, even God should help us lead a life worth being talked about. In essence, prays are directed at being peaceful with material wealth and untold amounts of success, in other words, worldly gains overflowing. Sadly, even God’s purpose is to assist our egotistical appetite for more.968006798_7790bcec1e_m

In contrast, my over-lining principle is to live life on my own terms. Long ago, however before my continued transformation, I was incapable of living an unhurried life. Overall, I masqueraded egotistical desires behind fears of low self-esteem and loathing; I needed toys so self-perception would become obsolete. For instance, better for us to stare at my home, car, and money than my spirit.

When is it enough

In brief, being content with less would cause critical self-reflection. Without anything to pretend about, one eventually turns attentions within. Therefore, in the final analysis, I needed more external devices because of what I lacked internally.  I did not want me or anyone else to see the real me, the one in the darkness.

To begin with, the conceptual shift to live more with less has been an ongoing conquest. Namely, the stress accompanied with social comparison has lessened considerately. Amazingly, one could not have convinced me of this spiritual procedure, not in a million years. For the Dragon, nonetheless,  I desire a peaceful existence and tranquility; it is the only abundance I possess and desire.

The Invisible Dragon

milesdavis1

How do you Love the Unlovable

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491993392_3f3c386f3a_m My life use to resemble a chainsaw with a broken cut-off switch. I constantly buzzed with the thunder of a truck missing a muffler. Jumping from one thought to another in milliseconds. In addition, the foreign jargon I called speech, in reality was the soundtrack of a psychopathological lunatic. Sadly, the Dragon was a spirit without love, a nomadic appliance, a self-destructive, all-consuming bowl of mindlessness.

Being lost in illusions as I refer to it defines a person whom lack self-love. Often they remind us of a disruptive force driven by ‘slow suicidal’ actions (i.e., substance abuse, addictions, ego-driven, constant worrying). However, without shame, it was fear that denied me the ability to love myself. The demonized circus (mind) slowly and with precision was killing me. Sadly, however, with religious conviction, I sought its companionship over and over again.

High Flying Acts of Self-Destruction

To recite my fanatical escapades illustrated with clinical depression, substance abuse and risky behaviors would appear to create excuses. However, as pertinent as these factors were to my dissension, they receive a pardon with just cause. Subsequently, my spirit long sequestered, painted a silhouette of fear inside me as a teen.  I cannot pinpoint the fear origination, but my spiritual restoration provided a pathology.  2656844158_f3390e49c4_m

I never understood love.  My conception of love was ill designed from adolescence. Regardless, however, this foreign agent (ego) bent on spiritual espionage, persuaded my divine implosion. Unfortunately, I was unable to uncover the covert operative before near total self-destruction. The inability to see love as a “verb” nearly cost me my life.

We operate from two emotions, love or fear. Our actions easily become translatable when we understand this premise. For instance, we cannot pain ourselves or  another person and describe it as love. Regardless of blamable factors (i.e., addiction, selfishness, envy) love is an action that “never hurts.” As another example, when love ones do bizarre behaviors, irresponsible self-destructive acts, this is fear, it is a call for love and help. Absolutely, they are afraid and they do not know how to say it or save themselves.

Fear, the Great Deceiver

With that in mind, until they rid themselves of fear, tsunamis of unthinkable events will create mass self-destruction and repercussions. Our only thoughts, “How could they do this to me?” & “How could they do it to themselves?” Without question, it is the ultimate cry for help, an act of slow suicide is more appropriate. As we guess, fear kill without reason or just cause. It has nothing to do with the victim personally. It is a child, teen or adult crying out, “I am scared and I hate myself.”

The Dragon recites this account from personal experiences. Thus, it is not a formula or antidote one swallow easy. The brave walk this path; you cannot sneak into spiritual restoration lacking self-love. It is muddy-waters for sure and the clever individuals deepens into its quicksand. You cannot fake it (Love); it eventually cries out for help.

Invisible Dragon

milesdavis1