arose like a mighty warrior from the chair
shouting for all who cared to listen about
his record of football triumph.
The golden boy, the next big thing,
a can’t miss, this was Steve.
I was waiting on him to arrive.
A brawling 6’3 inch specimen drooling words
only a senile gentleman recites to himself
in a dark room, staring at cheat reflections.
The irritated spectators sipped alcohol
numbing the sounds of a never was.
Old men can be argumentative at times.
Steve possessed nothing his feeble mind
garnished as factual history this night,
an old man of grandeur and meanness.
Spewing vulgarities mindlessly
about his youthful athletic invincibility.
He was stuck with anger, in a past time.
His lips soaked with a cheat lipstick
sprouting indecencies on passive listeners.
On this night, the crowd was not cheering.
The crowds never cheers forever.
“I Was Great!” You Bitches and Hoes!
Sure you were, helpless guests mouth closing their
mental panic room’ doors.
I watched Steve that night thinking
very little. I was not enamored by his mean wit
or profanity-filled tirades. You see, he
was my friend in a self-chambered illusion.
So, I must join him in his party
as ill-conceived as it sounds.
Though I did not make excuses
for his behaviors, my face shaped
forgiveness for his tenure this night.
I was his friend and tears flowed inside.
How could I deny this beaten
old man his fake facts.
Although witnessing the moment, I wished they had occurred.
He needed them to be an asset again, a big shot.
I was waiting for him to acknowledge
he made his narratives up, but he did not.
Thus, I believed his imaginings along side him
for this night.
Steve was in a place that never existed
and he did not know it.
But, old men get stuck at times
and they need friends
I am Steve’s friend and I’ll wait on him.
I hope he’s all still here, when he comes back.
The Invisible Dragon
Fame or integrity: which is more important?
Money or happiness; which is more valuable?
Success or failure; which is more destructive?
If you look to others for fulfillment,
You will never truly be fulfilled.
If your happiness depends on money,
You will never be happy with your yourself.
Be content with what you have;
Rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
The whole world belongs to you.
Stephen Mitchell’s Translation
I came across this Tao essay among my books, as if it could hide. I discovered the saying because at times I fade into illusions and become despondent. Indeed, it is highly likely that I fear uncertainties at times, because the world appears empty and without friends at those moments. Close friends are a margin, men specifically, I walk a lonely path vacant of male friends. Sadly, I did not have a position on a team. Maybe its better that way, not to stay lonely however. Thus, after a beautiful walk/jog, I sat on my small and rented cement porch and took a picture of my deceased friend, Kevin Staple.
The Invisible Dragon
I applaud Tracy’s apology for his homophobic rant in a recent comedy skit. I have long acknowledged my stiff opposition to all LGBT violent speech, discrimination, and physical assaults. I love Tracy Morgan’s comedy and will not stop watching him on my favorite TV show, “30 Rock” or a HBO’s comedy special. However, I also congratulate Tina Fey, whom did a wonderful job in condemning his routine and denouncing such garbage. Mr. Morgan used a total lack of judgment in light of recent young people committed suicide because of their sexual orientation.
Again, his skit was insensitive, hurtful, and dangerous to young ppl facing constant violence from homophobic individuals. Hate speech and violence against LBGT individuals cannot be tolerated: regardless of person/s or forum used for it; Homophobia language demonstrates a lack of education from its speaker.
This brings up an entry point concerning the Black community and its high moral stance against homosexuality. Nearly, 94% of African-Americans claim an affiliation with religion, specifically Christianity. Through research and general knowledge the Black community’s position toward the LBGT community is well-known and a point of emphasis in the Black church. NO GAYS ALLOWED!!! This consensus is laughable if it wasn’t so miserable.
The Black community, who screams for constant equality and social acceptance find themselves the most homophobic group in America. Who the hell cut off the lights?Despite chronic urban violence, high homicide rate, mass incarceration, massive illiteracy, high unemployment, and lingering health issues…(I would run out of strength in my fingers to continue our national forecast). Yet, homosexuality, we find defective and deserving of our wrath and must be condemned in all spaces. (again, who cut off the lights?)
I am not a religious person, nevertheless I sought its membership in the past on a few occasion. (Thankfully, I failed) Religion, like politics creates strange bedfellows. I have come to realize pious individuals find it assessable to manipulate their religious oath to suit their vices. In other words, it’s only a sin when others do it, surprisingly, the same (pious) person will shout to the mountain top about homosexuality. It is a facade, albeit, a clever transparent smoke screen,…
Just in….BREAKING NEWS!!!
Black people are members of the LGBT community and frankly, listening to my gay and lesbian friends more than one imagine. However, robotic mannequins preaching God’s wrath against the devil’s army believes theirs souls are different. BullS—T! Black Christians and non-Christians are more similar than opposites in my experiences. For instance, both groups lie, steal, cheat, commit adultery, and ask God for forgiveness, and on the other hand both accomplish good deeds. In fact, there exists no proof that a pious person will obey their religious mantra faithfully: Not even the fear of God will hold some back from their hidden vices. However, Homosexuality is not a vice, it is two humans sharing a relationship and hopefully a loving one.
In closing, Blacks lead the country in HIV/AIDS new infections, our young people are dying, yet we bury our heads in the proverbial sand called ‘religion.’ I do not know if Tracy Morgan is a religious individual, this is not about his faith, but about Black America’s hypocrisy. I did not have to forgive Tracy, we say dump things at times, I am one who does it more more than once. Nevertheless, Blacks need to clean up the religious rhetoric concerning homosexuality, you’re not fooling anyone. Cut the lights back on, please, I beg God.
The Invisible Dragon
I lost an opportunity to help my children at an important time in their development. As you recall or maybe not, my mother had a dreadful childhood and subsequent life of only 46 years. A young mother at 13 she lacked normal life skills and demonstrated a fierce sense of survival. In essence, we were poor but in areas more vital than socioeconomic status and wealth.
I had a childhood marred with dysfunctional behaviors and maladaptive developmental stages. Often violence or the threat of viciousness was a communication tool for my era of adolescence. I would like to blame my mother and father, but it would not help. However, their lives were marred in spilt-second decisions of survival, I praise them however for their effort to get my siblings and I along as best possible. Nevertheless, my maladaptive habits soaked my psyche and rendered me abnormal. As a result, I ran away in my childhood to the form of violence, threat of violence or solitude.
Unfortunately I found myself high in this painful capital throughout my life. A reason? I had lost my guidance (e.g., father) when I was 15, much too early I would say. Thus, I was left to fend for myself personally and socially as a young adult. I did not fare well. Decisions were hasty and unmonitored by a trusted caregiver, I was often doomed with regrets for unsound choices. Sadly, my children were encapsulated in this dreadful era also fueled by depression, substance abuse, and outrageous risk-taking. It had a tremendous effect on them.
On a personal note, I find my children not using my old technique of communication, (I’m happy) but they lack adaptive behaviors in other stages of development. Worse, I am locked out after becoming a better person to help them. Three of them are now adults and their adult stages do not permit my tutelage; I’m isolated in a form of family relation poverty.
Moreover this prison I’m incarcerated in has forced me to witness their maladaptive development at times. It is a penalty of untold measures and pain. Sadly, I thought I could break the chain of behavioral abnormalities with my new consciousness but seemly evolution has discarded me. I missed the chance in their childhood it seems. You cannot go home as they say. I could blame myself but it would not help…
The Invisible Dragon